The group calls itself khilāfa, or caliphate, which actually means that it claims spiritual and political leadership of the world’s 1.6 billion Muslims, a claim that the vast majority of those 1.6 billion rightly reject. In more conventional language, it is the Islamic State, or IS, which former Australian prime minister Tony Abbott refused to acknowledge on the grounds that it isn’t a state. The BBC always refers to the so-called Islamic State, which is a typically poor choice of words by the so-called guardian of the English language. If we were to go down that road, surely the correct formulation is self-styled Islamic State.
Then we have those confusing acronyms ISIS and ISIL. There aren’t many people now who would recognize the former as a reference to the Egyptian goddess of wisdom, so it does appear to make sense to describe it as the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria, but it still begs the question of whether a gang of psychopaths deserves to be called a state. As for the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant, my first reaction would be to enquire whether anyone, if asked, would be able to point to the Levant on a map. And it does make me wonder, given the man’s apparent intelligence, whether US president Barack Obama has any idea what is going on when he refers to these psychotic murderers as ISIL.
On the other hand, Obama’s secretary of state, John Kerry, does get my wholehearted approval for constantly referring to these fanatics as Daesh, or DAIISH, which is an acronym for ‘al-Dawla al-Islamiya fi Iraq wa al-Sham’. The main reason why this a good tag for a bunch of ill-educated barbarians is that the group itself doesn’t like it. Why? Because it sounds like dahes, which in Arabic means ‘one who sows discord’. For reasons that must be obvious, these nameless perverts have banned its use in the areas they control.
It seems to me that what is needed is a name that reflects the ideology of the group but doesn’t provide them with any credibility, and if you’ve read thus far, you will guess, correctly, that I have a suggestion. My proposed name reflects two things: the totally irrational notion in Islam that pigs are ‘unclean’ animals, and the obsession with sex and bodily functions that typifies religious zealots. This is the term that I will henceforward use to describe the delinquent hooligans who are currently terrorizing the Middle East:
Psychotic Islamic State Swine…which allows me to say, without even attempting to be ironic: PISS off, you fucking schweinhunds.
Leader of the pack, Big Chief Running Dog.